Men have this peculiar trait. Most of us think that we know everything. We can! Most definitely, we can! And as sure as the sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening, there are times when push comes to shove and we embarrass ourselves by not doing what it is that we started out to do in the first place.

I recall doing projects at various times in my life and finding at the end of the project that there are parts left over.

Ooops!

My “I know how to do this” dissolves into complete ineptness… all for the lack of paying attention to the cardinal rule of doing stuff around the house: “When all else fails, read the instructions!”

I had one of those moments this afternoon. While cruising the internet and carrying on a conversation or two, I noted that the house was a bit warmer than it should have been. I went off to the bathroom to shave and shower to cool off a bit – and on the way, I noted that the thermostat was a little wonky.

“Not a problem,” I foolishly said. I took the thermostat away from its mooring, replaced the batteries, and… nothing.

I spent the better part of half an hour attempting to bring the offending thermostat back to life. No luck.

I even went to the manufacturer’s website to see if they had any suggestions. Again, no luck.

So, I took my pride and my credit card to the local hardware store to invest in a brand-new thermostat made by the same company that made the thermostat I already had. I took the purchase home, plugged it into the hole left by the previous thermostat and… nothing.

I tried everything I could think of before coming to the conclusion that what I really needed to do was to install the beast with the instructions that came with it.

And what do you know. It worked.

Dinner was delayed. I whipped up something with ingredients on-hand with no instruction book anywhere near my meal prep.

I can do that.

The better half knows what I can do in the kitchen. I’m a regular McGyver. But put me in charge of something complicated and the next thing you know, I get frustrated until I realize that there are instructions.

When all else fails…

Be Seeing You!

Back home after a week of travel to see my daughter in Georgia. Two days out, two days back, 2,000 miles, and many good memories made.

I had a couple of conversations with rangers at two different National Parks sites about the dog Filbrix and my refusing to enter into the sites with my pet because it was clearly posted “No Pets Allowed“. While there was an exception for service animals, the signs were clear. Out of respect for the policies declared by the Park Service, the dog Filbrix and I stayed outside while my better half went inside to spend time with the displays.

My first conversation with a ranger was with a woman who was admittedly a dog lover. Filbrix and I were standing near the exit of an airplane hanger (part of the Tuskeegee Airmen Monument) in the shade when she came by. We discussed the prohibition and she told me that she appreciated my abiding by the rules. Apparently, there are some people who either disregard the rules, or try to slide past by claiming their animals are support animals. We agreed that the tactic of trying to slide past the prohibitions was nothing but bullshit.

The second conversation was at the Selma-Montgomery March Interpretive Center in Alabama. The conversation was a bit shorter, with us coming to the conclusion that one of the biggest problems we have these days is an almost universal lack of respect for others, encouraged by certain politicians. (I mentioned one in particular. The ranger laughed and then told me with a straight face that she was not allowed to discuss politics. I told her that I knew why she reacted, assuring her that if pressed, I would say she never said a word!)

The ranger’s junior partner followed me out the door and offered to watch Filbrix when I went inside to view the Interpretive Center. (They were good buddies when I came back out)

Respect is a theme that hit me in the face while going through the Center. Rather, it was a lack of respect for a group of people by people wanting to hold onto power and privilege. Most of the people giving the marchers grief for wanting the right to vote had no real power themselves, but they believed they did because of the color of their skin contrasting with the color of many of the marchers. What was missing was empathy – respect if you will – for another human being.

The same holds true today.

There seems to be no empathy for others. Should I say, little empathy for others because of hatred being stirred up by certain politicians and/or talk show hosts. Some of those certain politicians have managed to wrangle our system of elections to favor their own interests – effectively disenfranchising certain groups in order to swing elections in their favor.

The bullshit quotient is as bad as the bullshit being offered on the internet by firms assuring people that they can have their animals declared as support animals so that they can bypass “No Pets” rules.

Yes, I have the freedom to do what I want, but the limits on my freedom end when I trample on another’s freedom by disrespecting the other (and vice-versa).

Be Seeing You!

I ran into a piece the other day where an author stated that women are more careful about their money because traditionally women have had less money than men and had to make their money stretch further.

I get it.

The way I look at money leads me to believe that I may be a woman.

I spent a fair amount of my time this morning balancing the family checkbook, making sure that what we have coming in is more than what we will have going out. For the record, I was successful. To the point, we have the resources to pay the bills for the rest of the month with money to spare.

It wasn’t always like that for me or for my current spouse.

When I met my current spouse, she was in the last stages of paying off bankruptcy with her former husband. Their second bankruptcy together. She made good money, but her ex found ways to spend every last cent that he could get his hands on. My ex had a similar problem. She would go overseas on business, charge up a storm and then ignore American Express when it came time to pay. She whined about my ruining her credit rating while I was pinching pennies to make sure our children had what they needed to live.

My current spouse and I were emotionally drained by our previous spouses and were determined that we wouldn’t fall into that virtual money pit.

And it has worked.

Not to say that we didn’t have moments where we wondered if we would be able to make it to the next paycheck… but we’ve made it work.

There’s something about making less money than other people we know. I can find it intimidating when someone makes a show of their ability to have lots of money. Not everyone makes me feel as being less than I am because of my modest means. A couple of my friends in particular are quite well off (thank you), but neither of them goes out of their way to rub it in my face.

At the same time, I can think of a few people who make a show of what they have. One person, call him Bob, loved to brag that he had $100 gasoline bills when gasoline was available at seventy cents a gallon! He always found and had the “best” of everything and wasn’t afraid to show it. Another fellow took me on a tour of his “Ranch” and openly bragged that he loved having people over and showing them what he had. I recently had a conversation with a woman living in Washington D.C. who decided that she wanted to meet me face-to-face and decided that she would fly to DFW the next day – demanding that I pick her up despite any previous commitments I may have had. Besides, I can’t afford to have a wife and a girlfriend.

I like to think that I’m like most people – making do with what I’ve got. There are certain victories I have on the way… heck, just last month I got a royalty payment of a whole two dollars when someone bought one of my books on Amazon. There are defeats, too, like an unexpected charge to remove and reinstall the solar panels on my house when a wind storm made replacing my roof a necessity, but we have managed to weather that storm… and have the means to weather other storms.

Anyhoo, the statement made in the first paragraph rings true. Women generally are better money managers. Gender does not necessarily predict how well people manage the means at their disposal, however. Some men can be good money managers. Some women can spend like drunken sailors on shore leave.

I’m just happy to be where I am – and hope to be at for some time to come.

Be Seeing You!