Fish

Fish

When last we heard from this intrepid author wanna-be, a blog about micromanagement would be the topic of his next blog. Instead, a word (or several hundred) about fish.

A friend of mine mentioned going to a restaurant the other day and enjoying catfish – while her husband enjoyed cod. His remark about catfish (according to his wife) is that catfish tastes like mud.

I agree. With one exception. I’ll get to that momentarily.

My friend defended catfish by saying that catfish is best prepared by dipping it in buttermilk prior to breading and cooking it. That may be how that one exception was prepared. The only catfish I’ve ever really liked was at a small strip restaurant just around the corner from where I lived in Allen, run by the son of one of the Tuskegee Airmen. It was delicious.

Perhaps my aversion to catfish came about some forty years ago when I was working on an offshore oil rig. I was the northerner on a steel island inhabited mostly by southerners – some of them raised Catholic, meaning that the tradition was that they would eat fish on Fridays. Being southern, the preferred piscatorial delight was catfish. Deep fried catfish in a cornmeal batter. It was… okay, I recall, but there was a mud-flavored overtone which didn’t really appeal to me.

I ate it, in hopes that someday, something better would come along.

The promise that something better would come along came around in the summer of ’82 when the rig I was on was towed from the Gulf of Mexico to a point in the Atlantic Ocean about a hundred miles off Martha’s Vinyard. It was reportedly a prime fishing area, home to a large variety of fish in large numbers – surely enough to supply a drilling rig with something other than southern catfish for a change. That promise was broken. The quartermaster ordered massive amounts of farm-bred catfish to be sent to Massachusetts for the consumption by the mostly southern crew for Friday dinners.

I did manage to treat myself at a decent restaurant in Boston before getting on an airplane to go back home to Houston.

Houston, and by extension, Galveston, was a great place to get decent fish other than catfish. I became particularly fond of Gaido’s in Galveston for the many ways they managed to prepare shrimp. Another favorite was just around the corner from my Aunt and Uncle’s home on the west side of Houston. It was there that I sampled and came to like escargot and Spanish paella.

After moving back to Ohio for a few years, the first wife and I became enamored of a couple of places to indulge in seafood – Mauger’s in Lancaster Ohio, and the Friday night seafood buffet at the Holiday Inn in Parkersburg West Virginia. On the first trip to the Holiday Inn, the first wife declared ahead of time that she would absolutely not eat snail. Period. End of discussion, until she had two or three pastries which she just loved. I told her the truth about the pastries when asked. Yes, they contained snail!

I have to go the next town over from my little corner of the DFW Metromess to get decent seafood (we have nearly two dozen places to purchase tacos here, making purchasing tacos from the outside somewhat illegal in my reckoning). Yes, catfish is still available, but never considered, at least by me, to be a viable alternative to almost any other seafood.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to prepare cod and chips for this afternoon’s lunch.

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Shoes

Shoes

[Before I start, let it be known that I have not been offered nor have I been compensated for any of the brands mentioned in this little essay. Not to say that offers will be rejected outright.]

With that out of the way, I’ll start by stating that a new pair of shoes came by way of Amazon yesterday. They were my new shoes, purchased for my better half’s birthday. Before you call me an uncaring so and so, I will be quick to point out that on my birthday, we went out and purchased her a new set of shoes. She endorsed my purchase. In fact, she requested that I go and purchase my new pair of shoes.

The better half and I are like that with each other. We don’t purchase shoes very often because we usually make our shoe purchases with an eye to keeping them in the long run. Or in our case, walk.

Both of us do quite a bit of walking. A good pair of shoes are a necessity. She is a nurse. I worked a sales floor, and before that, I was a route supervisor for a daily paper. I now have the dog Filbrix who I take out at least three times a day. Both of us put quite a few miles on our feet every week.

Back when I was a route supervisor (I was called a “District Manager”), I would go down to a small shoe store to purchase a pair of relatively stout walking shoes every four to six months. The proprietor kept nudging me to purchase a pair of Clark’s, claiming that they would outlast the whatever it was I was wearing at the time. Me, being me, rejected his sales pitch. The notion of paying over $100 for a pair of shoes was something I was not about to do.

A move to Texas and a Christmas gift in anticipation of a trip overseas led me right back to the man who had recommended Clark’s, and a purchase which more than proved his point about shoes outlasting what I had been wearing. That first pair lasted 3+ years, including the miles I walked in London and daily use on a concrete sales floor. I still have a pair of Clark’s I wear today – they’re my Sunday Go-To-Meeting shoes.

When the better half needed a new pair of shoes to do her rounds, I took her to a Clark’s store in our corner of the DFW Metromess and purchased a set of Clark’s for her to wear. Again, years of wear instead of having to replace shoes every few months.

I got away from Clark’s for everyday wear and started to purchase Merrills. Good shoe, moderate price, long-lasting. My brother-in-law in Columbus loves ’em. Until a year and a half of purchasing my last pair, I loved them, too. Unfortunately, one of the effects of being a seasoned citizen is that apparently our feet grow, not only in length (from a size 11 to size 13), but in width as well. I developed a painful corn on one of my feet and went looking for something a bit wider.

My son came by and suggested that I try a set of New Balance shoes. They worked, in large part due to the fact that the shoes I purchased were wide, instead of a medium width. A good shoe… for a while. The soles were softer than most and they ended up wearing down within a year. [Nine months, really, but I don’t want to upset the lad too much. They were, after all, purchased on his recommendation.]

Which brings me to the day before yesterday when I went on Amazon to find a pair of decent shoes to buy for my better half’s birthday (as explained above).

Before the Great Lockdown, the better half and I found a SAS factory store in San Antonio (SAS = San Antonio Shoe). Her Clark’s were about due to be replaced and we had heard that SAS shoes were every bit as good as Clark’s, so we gave them a try. Not only is she still wearing the pair purchased in San Antonio, she has another pair which she wears on Sundays.

As I started to say (and to make a long story short) I found a decent pair of SAS shoes to wear at a price which made me think twice. At the same time, if they wear as well as my first set of Clark’s, it will be money well spent. And besides, I don’t have to tie the things.

Time to go take a walk…

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Chillicothe Ohio

Chillicothe Ohio

Sometime this spring marks 24 years since moving to North Texas from southern Ohio. Chillicothe Ohio to be precise. I lived in Chillicothe for a total of 23 years starting in 1968. Counting as I did, several times just to make sure, and counting three years I spent living in Houston, I have lived in Texas for most of my adult life. Still, for some reason, I cannot shake having lived in Chillicothe Ohio.

People I’ve worked with and people I’ve socialized with are quite familiar with stories I’ve told about the years I’ve lived in Chillicothe. Some of them have taken me to task for my repeated mentioning of that certain southern Ohio city.

I’m not the only person aware of Chillicothe Ohio. I about fell off my chair the other night when I ran across a clip from the syndicated television show Fernwood 2-Nite, a lampoon of television talk shows hosted by Ohio comedian Martin Mull. I accessed the clip on You-Tube when I learned that the guest was Harry Shearer. Now, Harry has been around for a while. He was on the pilot for Leave it to Beaver and is best known for providing many of the character voices for The Simpsons. So, Harry comes on and mentions that after doing the show with Martin Mull, he is headed to Dayton (Fernwood is set in the fictional town of Fernwood Ohio) or Chillicothe.

Whoa!

Had that been the only reference to Chillicothe in the wide world of entertainment, it would have been an absolute bombshell! Truth of the matter, Chillicothe Ohio is mentioned in any number of television and motion picture presentations. As an example, several weeks earlier, I was on You-Tube watching what was the first episode of the kid’s cartoon, Roger Ramjet when it was mentioned that one of the places targeted by the villain of the piece was…

Elvis Presley’s love interests in both Blue Hawaii and Viva Las Vegas were from Chillicothe, as was one of the soldiers in the war movie, The Longest Day. Those three I know for certain. Undoubtably there were more.

A newer book featuring a revamp of the old Tom Swift series mentions the city, although from the text, the author more or less picked the place out of a hat.

Several people of note have passed through the town. Bill Clinton, for one. Chillicothe was the first place he visited as President of the United States. He was less than a mile from my living room when he gave a speech at the high school gymnasium. I wisely stayed home – out of the way of the entourage and the many people just wanting to get a glimpse of the President. Bill has been what could be called a “Frequent Flyer,” appearing in at least two campaign appearances in ’96 and 2016 (for Hillary).

Peter Lupus, one of the team on Mission: Impossible came through town and purchased an automobile from one of the local dealers. Seems that the dealer had helped the struggling actor some years before. Lupus was returning the favor.

The best passing through Chillicothe story came about during World War II. A young Stan Lee was on his way east when he had a tire blow on him. A woman with ties to the rationing board hooked him up with a new tire and he was on his way to fame and Spiderman. Supposedly, whenever Mr. Lee needed to mention a small town as part of a story, he has used Chillicothe as his name of choice as an homage to his coming through the town. I don’t know that for certain. My specialty is trash TV, not the comics.

While it is nice to be associated with such a well-known, unknown city between Columbus and the Ohio River, it’s just as nice to know that there are people nearby who are from the same place. A sister to one of my old running buddies lives with her husband in the next town over. A fellow I knew from the church I attended lives a few miles away in Greenville. Another friend lives in nearby (by Texas standards) in Garland. We all have a little bit of Chillicothe in us.

Twenty-Four years. Almost six in what I call my little corner of the DFW Metromess. I like it here. A lot. But I sure am looking forward to visiting Chillicothe early this coming fall.

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Stacks of Laughing Wax

Stacks of Laughing Wax

One of my favorite radio programs ever was my Sunday evening appointment with the good Doctor Demento – a record collector in California whose show of novelty songs was always a treat. Dr. D. is best known to many of us as the person who “discovered” “Weird Al” Yankovic. I still follow Dr. D. on Facebook (my drug of choice).

Lately, I’ve found another class of songs – “Covers” of well-known songs done by unlikely performers. After a few months, I’ve come up with my own “Funny Five.”

At the number 5 spot is a song which could be forgiven for the fact that someone pulled a fast one on the performers. This little number, as seen on the Lawrence Welk show, is a cover of the song “One Toke Over the Line.” Most of us know what the song is about, but the performers seemingly have no idea, as seen on this video… https://youtu.be/MRa_gC6y4CY

I have to give this cover credit. The tune is there, but there’s the lyrics. Danish. And suddenly a studio version of a well-known song by The Village People becomes… https://youtu.be/zTbjLOem2Qg

In at number 3 comes from a veteran. Since back in the 1950’s, Pat Boone made a comfortable living doing covers of songs done by black performers for white people. One would think that Pat would be comfortable on those old royalties and endorsements for sit-down bathtubs, but no. He just had to prove his hipness to newer audiences with this cover of a semi-heavy metal classic… https://youtu.be/qIqY-zvdESQ

The runner up on this countdown is also a veteran. Herbert Khoury was known in the music industry as one of the best of the best. He was versatile and was noted as one of the best stage performers by his peers. Unfortunately, he was better known for his novelty act, first seen by me on Rowan and Martin’s Laugh in back in the late sixties. We all knew him as Tiny Tim – as seen covering a song on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show. Johnny’s reaction is priceless. Look for a glimpse of David Letterman on the end of the video… https://youtu.be/iBhkvlTcAag

Coming in at number one is a cover of a song done by Nine Inch Nails. Hurt. There is an excellent cover done by Johnny Cash at the end of his long career. This isn’t that cover. This cover comes from a performer better known from where he comes from. He is instantly recognizable to fans all over the world, as is his foil and sometimes girlfriend. If you still admit to knowing me at the end of this clip, I thank you from the bottom of my heart… https://youtu.be/57ta7mkgrOU

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My “Ohio Skills”

My “Ohio Skills”

I woke up this morning in my little corner of the DFW Metromess to a weather mess, courtesy of a dip in the jet stream. It gave me an opportunity to employ what my sister living in Columbus Ohio called “My Ohio Skills.”

The freezing rain followed by colder temperatures, followed by sleet, followed by snow, is seldom seen in Dallas. When it is seen, well, crappy weather comes with a vengeance. Last winter, just after my birthday, we almost had a complete breakdown of the electrical grid when the snow came with temperatures in the negative degrees.

Because of my “Ohio Skills,” we managed quite well, despite going nearly three days without electricity. I was able to prepare hot meals on the Weber grill and temperatures in the house didn’t fall below 50. No burst pipes (to the chagrin of plumbers who would have loved to fix them for me). The only casualties were a gallon and a half of Blue Bell Ice Cream which happened to melt in the freezer. Alas, alack!

Previous winters found me using those precious “Ohio Skills” taking the other half to work (but not today) or hunting down stray gallons of milk and/or loaves of bread left behind from shoppers stripping the shelves for essentials in anticipation of the storm. This time I didn’t have to fight the crowds, as I beat them to the punch by purchasing what I needed the day before yesterday.

Yesterday was spent making chili and battening down the hatches. And wouldn’t you know, the only preparation I didn’t make was purchasing a box or two of Jiffy brand Corn Bread mix. I was taken to task for my omission by a fellow traveler from California. California? Well, the score will be evened at lunch today as the other half will be preparing some home-made biscuits to have with the chili at lunch. Will follow up with a dish of ice cream.

In the meantime, I have my “Ohio Skills,” honed in winters much colder and much snowier than what we are witnessing this morning. I remember the morning I woke up at three in the morning to the sound of my neighbor’s car horn going off. Ice crystals completed the circuit in the horn button, making the horn sound. I got out of bed, bundled up, went outside, jiggled the neighbor’s horn button, and stopped the noise. A police cruiser came by just as I closed the car door. I was thanked for doing what I did (someone else called the police to come and check on things). The policeman then asked if I knew how cold it was. Before I could tell him that I didn’t want to know, he told me that it was Twenty-Two degrees. Dramatic pause. BELOW ZERO!

So saying, this morning’s temps in the teens in my little corner of the DFW Metromess is the figurative cakewalk in comparison.

It doesn’t make things any less cold and miserable, mind you. I believe that it reinforces the notion that living in the south thins one’s blood over the years, making even a little bit of cold even worse than it really is. I’ve lived here for nearly twenty-four years and have reason to believe that the notion of thinning blood is true.

But I still have my “Ohio Skills.” Along with blankets, hot cocoa and the luxury of not having to be somewhere this morning, I believe I can make this a good day.

Be Seeing You!

(By the way, aside from being red, both vehicles in my driveway were made in Ohio. They have “Ohio Skills,” too!)

Orange Juice

Orange Juice

Cruising the news this evening, I watched a story about the orange harvest in Florida and how that harvest is affecting the price of a morning staple of mine.

Orange Juice.

Back when the initial blows of the current ongoing pandemic were underway, I went to see a doctor for the first time in (unintelligible) years. He suggested a vitamin supplement along with high blood pressure pills and something called a statin. I decided to go one step further and have my morning pills with a glass of Florida’s finest. If I was going to be around for a few more years, I may as well eat (and drink) healthy. Right?

Until two weeks ago, getting orange juice was one of those “easy peasy” things I could count on. When I went to my grocery store of choice, the shelves containing a variety of orange juices was empty. “Supply chain problem,” I thought. Last week’s pilgrimage confirmed my diagnosis. There was plenty of orange juice available, so, I was back to purchasing my weekly container of orange juice.

Not so fast. Today, empty shelves, save for one container. Then there was the news report tonight. Wow. Who’d a thunk it?

Yeah, I know that most orange juice has a hint of orange color added to it to make it more appealing, and I am aware that the juice is processed from some sort of orange juice “slurry” made in a factory and shipped up north (or out west as the case may be) for consumption by people like me who make orange juice a daily staple.

I like the stuff so much that I wrote a book called “An Orange Juice Story,” combining a couple of stories I’ve told about my days living in Houston’s southwest corner.

The first involves an evening trip to the local grocery store to get supplies for the next couple of days. Soon after getting back to my apartment, I was annoyed by the buzzing of a helicopter in the general area. I went out on my patio, watched the helicopter circle for a while, and then thought nothing more of the sighting until the next morning. I switched on the news to find that less than five minutes after leaving the store, two men came into the store, robbed it, and shot the manager stone-cold dead!

The other story has to do with being woken up in the middle of the night by a drunken woman who was babbling about someone coming after her and doing her harm. It took me two hours to get the woman off cloud nine and get her to another complex, where she felt she would be safe. How she decided to come to my apartment out of all of the apartments in that particular complex, I’ll never know. What I do know is that it took her an hour and a half to notice that all I was wearing was a pair of underpants.

I also wonder why in the hell I didn’t get robbed or murdered in either instance. Charmed, I’ll guess.

Anyhoo, I combined both incidents into one cohesive narrative. The book, however, was one I set up by myself when I didn’t exactly know what I was doing. Small print with lots of white space on each page. It’s one of the reasons I don’t exactly promote that particular book.

During the meanwhilst, the price of orange juice has been going up by a considerable margin. I suppose I’ll see orange juice on the shelves again, but in the meantime, I’m already looking at alternatives.

V-8, anybody?

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Just How Do I Know You?

Just How Do I Know You?

An acquaintance of mine has a problem. Due to a minor stroke, he has lost the ability to recognize faces. He compensates for it quite well, using other cues to figure out who he might be talking to.

I have sort of the same problem. There have been times when I have had entire conversations with people, wondering who in hell am I talking with… drawing a blank with their names. I will occasionally draw a blank when conversing with members of one of the two small groups I am affiliated with. I work around it, usually coming up with the name of the person I was talking with after the conversation has come to an end.

With some of the people I know on Facebook, the problem can be worse. One fellow has been nagging at me for a while in terms of trying to figure out why I know this person. I finally figured it out the other day. I should be embarrassed that it took so long for me to know why. Once he wrote something about his being associated with a bank, it fell into place.

I thought I knew him in high school. But I didn’t know him in high school. He was a few years younger than me. I would not have run into him while I was in high school. I knew his sister, too. My sisters knew his sister and by osmosis, I knew the sister. But that still did not tell me why I knew this one guy in particular.

Between the time I had (and failed at) my own business, and the birth of my eldest child, I worked for a now-defunct appliance store called Sun TV. Sun wasn’t a bad gig, for the most part. It was well known in the Columbus Ohio market – the saying at the Sun at the time was that any competing appliance store would likely be out of business within a year of opening. Radio Shack tried with a concept called “The Show.” Bombed. Jack Nicklaus tried with his own brand of appliance store. He should have stuck to golf. But until Sun TV overextended itself and went bankrupt, it was the best place to buy appliances in Columbus Ohio.

Sun relied on outside credit providers to help its customers purchase what Sun was selling. And that’s where I met that mystery person. At the time I was working for Sun TV, my friend was working for one of the outside credit suppliers.

He and I got into a conversation one afternoon about his experience with that credit supplier. He started from the ground up, meaning that he had to work collections and repossessions. He told a story about a certain repossession which had me scratching my head, at first, and later became one of several stories I keep in my repertoire of interesting stories.

It seems that he (or it might have been someone else, the details are foggy at the moment) was assigned to repossess a Kirby Vacuum cleaner from a rural address somewhere in one of the local counties. While driving out to the address, something struck him as odd. He wasn’t quite sure what it was until he arrived at the home where the cleaner was kept.

When the owner of the house opened the door, a couple of chickens came racing out. Once inside, he noted two reasons why the cleaner was still in the box in perfect condition. For one, the house had a dirt floor. For the other, the house had no electricity. What struck the person making the repossession on the way out was that there were no overhead electrical wires leading to the house!

Now, one would think that in this day and age (or even in that day and age nearly forty years ago) that even the most remote home would have at least a wooden floor and electricity. I thought the story to be a little on the unbelievable side until an encounter I had about ten years later.

Within city limits.

I was working in the circulation department of the local newspaper, managing routes on the south end of town. One of my carriers was intimidated by one of her customers and wanted me to go see the fellow in her stead. I got to the house, no more than what I would consider to be a tar paper shack, waded past the two or three transmissions on the front porch and wondered what I would be in for.

No chickens, but the owner had dirt floors, and an ashtray overflowing with unfiltered cigarette butts. He had electricity and he had a couple of space heaters going full blast. And he was bragging that this was the best house he’d ever lived in. The others had, for reasons he could not fathom, burned to the ground!

Long story short, he paid his bill in cash, peeled off a wad of money “Jed Clampett” would carry around as “walking money.”

Did I mention that he was barefoot and only had three toes between both of his feet?

Now, that was something.

Anyway, I finally figured out where I knew that fellow on Facebook. Next time I’m up in his direction, I’ll have to look him up and swap stories. Bets he has a bunch of them.

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“… and chocolate will kill you!”

“… and chocolate will kill you!”

Life is a series of punch lines. For me, remembering those punch lines can cause trouble.

            This morning, for instance, a series of thoughts crossed my mind, causing me to laugh almost uncontrollably in front of my wife.

            My train of thought started out with a question posed by a friend of mine who asked something about an organization I referred to on this day ten years ago. I explained to him that the organization was headed by a preacher in Florida named Terry Jones; no relation to the late Terry Jones, a member of the humorous troupe of actors who performed on the BBC television series Monty Python’s Flying Circus. The Reverend Mr. Jones was one of those people who did not want his followers to know anything contrary to his own beliefs. At the time, he had strong-armed several sponsors of a television program about Islam into withdrawing their support. He made it a habit of his to go off the deep end from time to time about such things as other religions, welfare, socialism, race, and sex. In his opinion, not only did he want his followers to toe the “party line,” but he wanted others not belonging to his church to believe as he did, too.             Especially if they were children.

            Which led me to recall a fake book cover presented by Chris Shapan with the title: Danny Kay explains sex to your children.

The absurdity of Danny Kaye explaining sex to your children is what sent me into gales of laughter in front of my wife.

*****

The fake book cover was a punchline. Much of what inhabits the grey matter in my (extra-large) skull are punchlines:

  • “And where does a three-year-old have easy access to water?”
  • “Looks like him, but my brother ain’t that tall!
  • “So the blind can hate him, too!”
  • “To show the armadillo it can be done.”
  • “Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?”
  • “No soap, Radio!”

Punch lines are best when used in context – others are best delivered with a visual cue – still others make no sense at all but are funny because of the context.

            I’ve spent a considerable portion of my life listening to jokes and punch lines. A friend of mine remarked on a trip we took from Texas to Ohio that I had, perhaps the largest repertoire of jokes of anyone he’s ever known.

            I consider that to be a compliment.

            Keep in mind that I was more than half the age I am while I am writing this when he made his statement. Many of the jokes were lost due to content (misogynistic or racially charged), others lost (again) in my size eight head.

            Other punch lines came about because of a situation and not a joke. The line that “Christ quit” came about when a travelling Passion Play disbanded a thousand miles from one of the actors’ homes because the person playing Christ, quit. Now, there were other circumstances involved with Christ quitting a travelling Passion Play which will not be repeated here, but a simple “Christ quit” made for an effective punch line when I was told the story from one of the people involved. The incident hit the National Lampoon not long afterwards.

            One other punch line which grabbed national attention was, “… the bandit glued the customers hands to the counter with superglue.” I knew one of the victims. He told the story to the local newspaper and the story made it to “Paul Harvey News!” (Paul was one who was always on the lookout for news stories with a punch line.)

            The dog Filbrix provides me with a punch line. When someone tells me how pretty she is, my punchline is, “She knows it too, and that makes it difficult to live with her.”

            Punch lines are usually associated with jokes, japes, and jests. Sometimes they can impart a lesson, as in the moral of a story. Sometimes they can be instructive. When people ask me about my years in radio, the punch line I give about what I was paid is, “Minimum wage and all the records I can eat.”

            For the record (pun intended), records appear not to be used in radio any longer, nor are “live” disc jockeys. Everything is voice-tracked.

            Meh.

            Life is always a constant procession of lessons. Sometimes one is the student, other times one is the teacher. I’ve come to the conclusion over the years that everyone is someone else’s object lesson. “Don’t be like Joe Flabeets. He’s a drunk, you know.” Or, “So and so smoked like a chimney, and now he (or she) is about to die of lung cancer.”

            I suppose those examples will be punch lines as well.

            By the way, the headline to this little essay, “… and chocolate will kill you,” is a punch line of a gentler sort. It involves God, the designation of dogs as man’s best friend, and a God telling dog that dog will have two handicaps – dog cannot talk, and chocolate will kill him.”

            That’s about it for the moment.

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Let’s Get Famous

About a month ago, a fellow named Jerry Salley released a video, “I Take the Back Roads”, telling about how he takes the back roads when he goes and visits friends and relatives in his hometown of Chillicothe Ohio. It should be noted that Mr. Salley is a major force in Bluegrass music as a singer/songwriter, producer and record label executive. Quite an impressive resume if you were to look it up on the internet.

The video caught quite a few of the people from Chillicothe Ohio on my Facebook feed by surprise. None more than me. My surprise came from quite a few years ago when a kid and his mother were ushered into the radio studio where I was working, asking if I would play a record he had just made. Sure. Why not? The owner’s mother ushered the kid and his mother into the studio, with the unstated request that I needed to play the record.

The record itself was a forgettable ballad written by a pair of Tin Pan Alley writers and picked up by either the kid or his mother to record in Nashville in what was likely a demo pressed by a “Vanity” studio. The point was that the record was made in Nashville, a city which had (and still has) a certain cachet to it as a place where “Anyone can make it here!” While the song was forgettable, the kid had a voice, and he was local. We played the record a number of times before it wound up in my collection of curiosities and one-offs.

There was at least thirty years between by brief meeting with Jerry Salley and my running into his name again through some reference on the internet. A lot of water passed under the bridge in those years.

I had a relatively lackluster career as a radio “disc-jockey” during many of those years and have had contact with quite a few wanna-be singers who had gone to a studio to make a demo record. They were also happy to give me one of their recordings in hopes that I would play their hopeful hits on the air to launch them to fame and fortune. Most of those recordings made it as far as the trash bin.

One of the stops I made was to a radio station along the Ohio river where I went for an interview. As part of the tour of the facility, I was shown a studio filled with junk, assuming that was where “Marconi dropped his stuff and ran.” (An inside radio joke when encountering a radio station abounding with old, outdated equipment.) I was told that at one time the radio station had a side business of recording anyone who came through the door wanting to make a record. A little further research confirmed what I had been told. The station in question was one which had been a major force in that part of the Ohio River Valley back in the day. You pays your money, you sings into the microphone and you get yer record which the station would play a time or two before the next aspiring singer came along.

No doubt that there are hundreds of other radio stations out there which at one time or another appealed to the vanity trade… not to mention more than a few independent studios which do the same thing. One of them was set up a few miles down the road from my former hometown by a fellow who made ends meet by being a substitute teacher on the side.

Joe Waters spent quite a bit of money and time setting up what he named Appalachia Sound Studios in the little burg of Massieville Ohio. While he had a few people using his facility, he was always on the lookout for other avenues to generate revenue. At one point, he composed and tried to sell commercial jingles. Sometime in the eighties, he appeared to be on the cutting edge, opening a video store – Video Avenue – renting VHS movies for home use. His biggest success came about when he set up a school to teach people how to run a recording studio.

As I said, a lot of water passed under the bridge between the time Mr. Salley and his mother visited me while I was working at WBEX in Chillicothe Ohio and the video he made showing bits and pieces of Chillicothe as a backdrop to a very good tune he wrote and sang. If there is a point to be made, not everyone hits the “Big Time”, but those who do are the people who keep at it long enough to see their efforts pay off.

Of course, I would be remiss in my duty if I didn’t include the link to his song: https://youtu.be/nB1MTboYR2s

Be Seeing You!