Category: Observations – Political and Otherwise

“… and chocolate will kill you!”

“… and chocolate will kill you!”

Life is a series of punch lines. For me, remembering those punch lines can cause trouble.

            This morning, for instance, a series of thoughts crossed my mind, causing me to laugh almost uncontrollably in front of my wife.

            My train of thought started out with a question posed by a friend of mine who asked something about an organization I referred to on this day ten years ago. I explained to him that the organization was headed by a preacher in Florida named Terry Jones; no relation to the late Terry Jones, a member of the humorous troupe of actors who performed on the BBC television series Monty Python’s Flying Circus. The Reverend Mr. Jones was one of those people who did not want his followers to know anything contrary to his own beliefs. At the time, he had strong-armed several sponsors of a television program about Islam into withdrawing their support. He made it a habit of his to go off the deep end from time to time about such things as other religions, welfare, socialism, race, and sex. In his opinion, not only did he want his followers to toe the “party line,” but he wanted others not belonging to his church to believe as he did, too.             Especially if they were children.

            Which led me to recall a fake book cover presented by Chris Shapan with the title: Danny Kay explains sex to your children.

The absurdity of Danny Kaye explaining sex to your children is what sent me into gales of laughter in front of my wife.

*****

The fake book cover was a punchline. Much of what inhabits the grey matter in my (extra-large) skull are punchlines:

  • “And where does a three-year-old have easy access to water?”
  • “Looks like him, but my brother ain’t that tall!
  • “So the blind can hate him, too!”
  • “To show the armadillo it can be done.”
  • “Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?”
  • “No soap, Radio!”

Punch lines are best when used in context – others are best delivered with a visual cue – still others make no sense at all but are funny because of the context.

            I’ve spent a considerable portion of my life listening to jokes and punch lines. A friend of mine remarked on a trip we took from Texas to Ohio that I had, perhaps the largest repertoire of jokes of anyone he’s ever known.

            I consider that to be a compliment.

            Keep in mind that I was more than half the age I am while I am writing this when he made his statement. Many of the jokes were lost due to content (misogynistic or racially charged), others lost (again) in my size eight head.

            Other punch lines came about because of a situation and not a joke. The line that “Christ quit” came about when a travelling Passion Play disbanded a thousand miles from one of the actors’ homes because the person playing Christ, quit. Now, there were other circumstances involved with Christ quitting a travelling Passion Play which will not be repeated here, but a simple “Christ quit” made for an effective punch line when I was told the story from one of the people involved. The incident hit the National Lampoon not long afterwards.

            One other punch line which grabbed national attention was, “… the bandit glued the customers hands to the counter with superglue.” I knew one of the victims. He told the story to the local newspaper and the story made it to “Paul Harvey News!” (Paul was one who was always on the lookout for news stories with a punch line.)

            The dog Filbrix provides me with a punch line. When someone tells me how pretty she is, my punchline is, “She knows it too, and that makes it difficult to live with her.”

            Punch lines are usually associated with jokes, japes, and jests. Sometimes they can impart a lesson, as in the moral of a story. Sometimes they can be instructive. When people ask me about my years in radio, the punch line I give about what I was paid is, “Minimum wage and all the records I can eat.”

            For the record (pun intended), records appear not to be used in radio any longer, nor are “live” disc jockeys. Everything is voice-tracked.

            Meh.

            Life is always a constant procession of lessons. Sometimes one is the student, other times one is the teacher. I’ve come to the conclusion over the years that everyone is someone else’s object lesson. “Don’t be like Joe Flabeets. He’s a drunk, you know.” Or, “So and so smoked like a chimney, and now he (or she) is about to die of lung cancer.”

            I suppose those examples will be punch lines as well.

            By the way, the headline to this little essay, “… and chocolate will kill you,” is a punch line of a gentler sort. It involves God, the designation of dogs as man’s best friend, and a God telling dog that dog will have two handicaps – dog cannot talk, and chocolate will kill him.”

            That’s about it for the moment.

Be Seeing You

Work

Haven’t been here for a couple of weeks, therefore an update is necessary.

Death has been faced.

I got a dispatch from a correspondent which corrected the cause of death of my friend, Rob. He died of colon cancer. Gives me more to be thankful for.

We had a nice send-off for the stepdaughter’s fiance, with a viewing, a funeral and a military burial service. I was present for all three, a fact noted by one of the stepdaughter’s friends.

I had the camera with me for all three events. One photo at the viewing, several at the gathering after the funeral service, and several taken at the DFW National Cemetery during and after the ceremony. I spent part of Saturday cropping and printing the photos I took. I posted a few of the new grandchild taken at the funeral, but decided that most of the other photos I took were not appropriate for sharing on Facebook.

The invention of the digital camera along with some of the simple editing tools on the computer have been a godsend for amateurs like me. No film to waste, meaning that if I muff a shot, a do-over, or several do-overs are easily and inexpensively done. I learned to take photos and develop film back in the day (over 50 years ago). In retrospect, I should have stuck with it, becoming a professional photographer like one of my classmates. Lesson learned a bit too late.

Instead, I worked for a living in a variety of occupations… learning a thing or two about people along the way.

We are living in what is developing to be an interesting time.

Because of the Covid pandemic, much of our economy has been going topsy-turvey, with shortages due to breaks in the supply chain. Part of that chain has been the people making sure that we have the goods we desire available at the right place at the right time. That part of the chain is broken and there are some wondering why.

As I explained to my better half Sunday afternoon, there are people along the supply chain who are fed up with the way they are being treated by management and customers. So, they quit.

Been there, done that, have the T-Shirt.

On at least three different occasions, I walked off of a job without looking back.

The first time was when I worked at a radio station. I had had a couple of lousy nights with one of my listeners being very insistant on my playing one song in particular at least twice an hour. When I didn’t, the listener became verbally abusive to the point that I simply ignored the phone for a while. Later that day, I went into the office to let my boss know where I would be on the week I was going to be out of the office. He decided to lay into me about several things unrelated to the earned vacation in addition to telling me that I was not going to have the vacation (starting the next day) after all.

Adios, muchacho! I simply walked out of the guy’s office. He called later to tell me that I had been replaced… I told him that I hadn’t planned on going back anyway. Six months later, I went to the radio station to recover my FCC license and the same guy begged me to come back. Apparently, his tenure was about to be cut short because he had a hard time retaining employees.

The other two times I was working for nationally known chain stores. Management again.

I can recall having an immense sense of satisfaction on the way out the door in each of those situations. I can imagine that the people walking off the job in record numbers last month felt much the same way as I did then.

While there are those who declare that the quitters are lazy, I see that the quitters are simply fed-up with whatever situation they have to contend with. Low wages. Few benefits. Lousy working conditions. “Entitled” customers. And the list goes on. There are plenty of “Help Wanted” signs out there, and there are plenty of businesses willing to hire… if the people being hired are willing and able to put up with the same crap they have been putting up with all the time.

What started out as a quick review of what has happened in the past fortnight has turned into a rant, of sorts. For that I apologize.

Be Seeing You!

ONLY the Right People…

I’ve been carefully watching the news lately. Here in the Lone Star State, the governor has declared another emergency session of the state legislature to pass a voting bill of some sort. The bill didn’t pass in the regular session, nor did it pass in a previous “emergency” session due to lack of a quorum. Democrats in the legislature flew to Washington to keep the necessary quorum away so that the bill does not pass and get sent to the governor for his signature.

I don’t know exactly what’s in the bill. From what I have been able to learn, the bill came up in response to last November’s loss of the Presidency of the United States by Donald Trump. Trump claimed that there was massive election fraud and that there needed to be reforms passed to prevent the same sort of fraud in the future.

From my point of view (seeing what has already passed in other states), the intent of the bill is to see that only the right people go to the polls to vote in the next election.

ONLY THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

Sounds like someone has their nose in the air, not wanting to mingle with the “Great Unwashed”.

Some years ago, I belonged to an organization which I presumed to be open to any and all who would come through the front door until a contemporary of mine stated to my first wife that the organization in question accepted “Only the right people”. It was, in my mind, an elitist attitude. It did not belong in that organization.

Nor does that attitude belong in our political system.

But it’s there.

A bill to see that only the right people have the opportunity to elect our politicians appears to be on its way to being passed if the Democrats in exile in Washington blink and allow the governor his quorum.

Really a damn shame. I liked voting.

Be Seeing You!