Tag: humor

Lemonaid

Back to the old saw, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.”

Yes, I realize that I misspelled lemonade in the title, but that was deliberate as it has to do with my previous post.

I left you, the reader, with the better half and me poised to head up to southern Illinois to look at homes where we could retire.

Thursday evening of the weekend before Labor Day weekend, the dog Filbrix was due at “Doggie Camp” the next morning, our hotel room was booked, and we were nearly packed for our trip when my daughter called in a panic. It appears that at the last possible moment, she and her significant other were told to vacate their premises because they were “Out of Control.” It sounded to the better half and me that my daughter and her significant other were deemed “Out of Control” because they were in a same-sex relationship.

Relationships aside, they needed a place to go. I didn’t hesitate, nor did my better half. Life had handed my daughter a lemon. I was going to aid them by offering our hospitality… hence, the term “Lemonaid” in the title.

A few back and forths later, it was determined that my daughter would make her way from Georgia to Texas at the same time the better half and I were on our way to house-hunt in Illinois. Since she would arrive in Texas in our absence, we arranged for a key to be held by a mutual friend so my daughter could gain access to the house.

Crisis averted, for her. More lemons to come for us.

When we went to Illinois, we had a specific house in mind to look at and/or to make an offer for. In-town, close to a dog park (one of the dog Filbrix’s favorite things), nicely done back yard, and solar panels already installed and running. The better half was sold when she saw the solar panels. Two-thirds of the way to our destination, our Realtor called and told us that the house had been taken off the market. Sold. Dang!

Fortunately, we were forearmed of the possibility that the house we wanted would be unavailable, so, we had three other places we would look at.

The first was an older grey stucco in an historic district with a detached garage which looked like there would be a Studebaker hidden inside once the garage door was opened. It looked lovely until we went inside. Apparently, the previous owner had passed on to his reward and the house was being sold as part of his estate. There was trash (neatly bagged) in the living room and other indications that nothing had been done to make the house more saleable. Not only that, but the garage was empty. No Studebaker.

We then moved on to a newer place, a ranch house, with what could charitably be called a pie-shaped backyard. There were signs that the neighbors were potentially noisy and the house had a weird layout. We passed.

The third place was perfect. Large, fenced-in yard, fantastic master suite, well laid out, and a sunroom where we could install a hot tub!

We made an offer, but someone beat us to it.

Back to the drawing board.

We had a chat with the finance guy and a chat with the Realtor. The upshot was that while our credit was swell and we could pull the money together for a down payment and closing costs, we needed to sell our house in Texas before we could buy a house in Illinois.

Now, our trip wasn’t a total wash… we did manage to connect with the other half’s children (and the grandchild) while we were there. We also found a decent place to get barbecue. The trip back was scenic (although it involved a few more hours of travel than we would have liked), and we got a few ideas of places we’d like to visit once we relocated.

Once we got back, though, we knew what needed to be done. We were determined to make the move, but now we had a clearer vision of what needed to be done and in what order. And then there was the task of getting the house in order with two more humans to either help or hinder.

But that’s a tale for another time.

Be Seeing You!

Continuing the Journey – Four weeks later

Continuing the Journey – Four weeks later

Four Weeks

April 12, 2024

I’ve had normal days for four weeks, now. Just a couple of minor complaints at this point in my recovery. Still some tingling in my feet and fingers – not bad enough to complain about. Yet. I still get tired somewhat easily, but not as easily as I did a couple of weeks ago. There is the occasional slight feeling of vertigo – the feeling is fleeting. Most of my other bodily functions seem to be working well. One small victory noted this evening – my sense of taste is back. It’s nice to sit down to a meal and be able to taste it. What I need to do, though, is to watch what I eat so I don’t gain back the 30+ pounds that I lost in the past six months.

The visit with the Physician’s Assistant (almost typed Apprentice) went well. I was spared an exam of the problem mentioned in my previous update. Not that I was against the exam. I’ve been probed by female doctors in my nether area enough to not let it bother me. The only inhibition came about from the fellow suspended by a rope and washing the third floor window while I was talking with the PA. We had a nice conversation about my condition and she was able to provide advice as how to alleviate the problem until the colonoscopy next month. It was intimated that there was something that could be done during the colonoscopy. I may ask later, or when I’m about to be put under.

Her hint that there might be a stitch or two involved reminded me of the story told by the boy’s health class I had in my sophomore year in high school. The teacher was a colorful character who peppered his language in relatively crude terms. Seeing as how he was teaching tenth-grade boys, he did well by using the language he did as most of our minds were in the gutter at that point in our lives. Anyhoo, the instructor told the story of going to the local VA Hospital to have his hemorrhoids surgically removed. It went well until he got home, telling us that he felt as if “A wildcat was loose in my ass!”

Naturally, his description was well-received.

Later that year, I was walking with a female upperclassman to the student parking lot where her boyfriend (and still a friend to this day) was waiting to give me a ride somewhere. As we passed the classroom where another group of tenth-grade boys were being instructed in matters of health, my escort shook her head at the open door and declared that she wondered why the man would keep the door to his classroom open, considering his language.

My visit with the PA ended with a scrip, instructions, and confirmation of my date with the person doing the colonoscopy.

More immediately, I am less than three weeks from seeing my Doctor for the first time since becoming the human chemistry set. I do look forward to seeing my Doctor. He is usually in good humor. Aside from the story I’ve passed on about one of my teachers, there’s little else to tell. I’ll probably catch up after the colonoscopy coming in May.

 Be Seeing You!