Tag: Nudity

An April Fool Prank +50 years

An April Fool Prank +50 years

I came to the realization earlier today that 50 years ago, I was on the radio and needed to pull off a prank. With the help of a young woman, I was able to accomplish my mission. Here’s the scoop…

On a cool and rainy night fifty years ago, I teamed with an OU-C classmate to promote a “Streak In” at the OU-C parking lot on WBEX. A small group of people came to the station just before the April Fool was announced – one of them, a young woman, exposed her breasts, much to the amusement of the group she was with, the classmate helping me in the ruse, and me.

I stayed after the station signed off and filed a modified version of the story to the Associated Press. The Chillicothe Gazette took notice and I was on the front page the next afternoon, to the amusement of my co-workers and the young woman helping me with the ruse.

The VP mentioned was in her late seventies at the time and was the only person at the station not amused by the antics from the previous evening.

Be Seeing You!

Nuts!

We seem to have hit some sort of “Twilight Zone.” Over the weekend, there was a report from a school in Florida where the Principal retired because of a parent’s complaint that children were exposed to photographs of the statue of David as part of an art class. It seems that the “parent” was aghast that their children would be exposed to a statue of a naked man with his hangy-down parts showing. It’s just nuts!

The wags have been having a bit of fun about this outrage, dressing the statue in dresses (uh-oh… Drag!) or covering the offending parts in (among other things) a map of Florida and an AK-40. There was even a drawing of God handing Adam a pair of underwear in the painting of the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel (Tighty-Whities. Boxers are out because you might be able to see Adam’s hangy-down parts through a gap which “lets your business breathe”)!

Apparently, the state of Florida allows even a single parent to have something removed from the classroom if they object to it. Lessons about the struggle for Civil Rights? Gone. Books about the hardships of Slavery – “Who says it was that bad?” The list is endless as it keeps growing by the day. And it’s likely to get worse before it gets better, especially since anyone with any objection will be taken seriously.

Had this nonsense been in place when I was in elementary school, my sixth-grade teacher, Mrs. Gillahan, would have been fired on several different occasions. Like, when she talked about milking a cow and pulling on the cow’s teats (pronouncing it “Tits.”) When the inevitable laughs came from the boys in the room, she went into her “Don’t fool around on me, I’m serious” mode, staring us down and smacking a ruler across her desk as a warning as to what may happen if we continued. Or, there was the time when she excused the girls while the boys in the room were given a clinical description of what was involved in circumcision.

You could have heard a pin drop.

To her credit, Mrs. Gillahan was the product of a different age. She was likely older then than, say, Willie Nelson is today. She may still be around. I wouldn’t put it past her. But she couldn’t teach school in Florida.

Back to Florida – I read an essay recently about a trend where opinion becomes the truth. The gist of the article was that there are certain groups of people who listen to opinions that are taught as truth. Anything not aligning with what is being taught as truth is automatically condemned as part of some sort of “Culture War” being waged against what is (inaccurately called) the Silent Majority.

It’s more like a vocal minority that the state of Florida (among others) is allowing to run things. It’s one thing for a parent to object to what his or her child is exposed to – It’s quite another for a parent to be able to keep all children from being exposed to something that one parent objects to.

Nuff Said

The Naked Truth

The Naked Truth

If you are offended by nudity or the mention of nudity, you may as well turn around and wait for my next blog – probably having to do with micromanagement (or mismanagement – your choice).

I’ll wait…

We’re probably safe, now. Let me begin.

I got into a conversation on Facebook here in the past week having to do with planting cucumbers. According to someone’s book of lore, cucumbers are best planted in the early morning hours on the first of May by a naked boy. That’s just a couple of weeks away. Since the better half likes cucumbers and I’m usually up before the sun, I thought that I might just try planting cucumbers in the early morning hours of the first of May. Having the prescribed “equipment,” I qualify as a boy. Besides, I thought the first Saturday of May is usually designated as World Naked Gardening Day. Never mind. May first is on a Sunday. So why not? Unless one of my neighbors decides to stay out and watch me (which I really doubt as I don’t believe any of my neighbors read this blog), I might just go ahead and plant those cucumbers as prescribed.

The dog Filbrix will likely go out with me as she usually has business in the wee hours of the morning anyway. She watches me shower, so no big deal for her.

Well. The conversation on Facebook took the turn one would usually have when the conversation on Facebook turns toward being out of doors in one’s birthday suit. The story of when and how to plant cucumber seeds came from a woman of my acquaintance and the next thing I know the conversation became a bit risqué with what I would call “the usual comments” people have when nudity is mentioned. There are lots of grins and giggles, along with raised eyebrows and declarations that being outside in the nude is something which just isn’t done.

“If we were meant to run around without clothes, we’d have been born naked!”

Yeah. Right.

As I’ve aged, my attitude toward nudity has shifted. Maybe I should say that my attitude toward my own nudity has shifted. Part of that has to do with some of the scars I have accumulated over the years as a result of modifications made to keep me alive. Those scars aren’t necessarily pretty, but on the other hand, I’d much rather have them instead of having to go through the suffering I would have had had I not had them. Too, I’m a tad heavier than maybe I should be (Iost 35 pounds last year, but still, another 50 pounds over what I consider to be an ideal weight). I may not be an Adonis, but I am secure of who I am in my own skin.

While I’m secure in my body image, I am not going to demonstrate my security in public. Now, there are times when I step out of the shower, hang up my bath towel and not bother to dress for a few minutes – or even a few hours. I’ve been outside in the buff in a private setting, have been skinny dipping, and have even visited a naturist resort. Going outside in the early morning hours to plant cucumbers in my opwn back yard while wearing my birthday suit would be a lark.

Besides, the dog Filbrix would likely need to go out to relieve herself at that hour. It’s what she does.

Laugh if you will or consider making a snarky comment. It is considered to be socially acceptable to laugh or make snarky comments about a male thinking of going au Naturale. “No photos. Please!” is the usual line. Our “hangy down parts” are not considered to be photogenic anyway – unless of course, those parts are inordinately large.

Again, I’m no Adonis. I’ll settle for who I am and for planting cucumbers in the dark!

Be Seeing You!